"Dar Tania and Malyx, now called simply 'Daryx,' share a common point of similarity: they were each the first of their kind to find their goddess. We studied Daryx for many years before he earned the god emperor's trust. A male priest of Lolth! It was laughable until we learned it was true. That he has touched Lolth's lips with his own, is both fascinating and disgusting. 
"But, you asked me, what makes him different from the Drow Holy Mothers who rule in Lolth's name? Over many difficult discussions, Daryx explained this to me. Drow worship of Lolth is not correct. They worship Lolth as their goddess when in truth, Lolth is the goddess of phase spiders. The chaos endemic in their worship stems from the fact that, while Lolth enjoys their worship, it is not respect She holds for the Drow. No, it is the spider contemplating the fly nearing its web. Without Graz'zt and the phase spiders, Lolth would consume the Drow heart and soul and leave anarchy in the wake of Her genocidal meal. Daryx found Lolth through the phase spiders first. He approached the Queen of Phase Spiders with the adoration of the phase spiders. Coming to Her this way, Daryx is loved where the Holy Mothers are curious toys. 
"So, that's that. If more Drow, male or female were to follow Daryx's example, Consecration would make Lolth many times more powerful than She already is. Daryx knows this. The god emperor knows this. It has taken many centuries, but at last, Daryx has convinced Lolth that the Prophecy of the Shield and Spear is not just a mortal ploy to fascinate the gods, but is real. If Set falls, he vacates the 555th, the heart of the Abyss. And Lolth very much covets the heart. Lolth no doubt sees Morbatten as a tool to ascend another level in the Abyss. Morbatten sees Lolth as another weapon in the war against Set. For now, it seems that Lolth and Tiamat are content with this manipulation."
Sage Alaura, Conversations with the God Emperor

LOLTH, 444TH AND GODDESS OF PHASE SPIDERS

The dark elves came to worship Lolth following the Race Wars, which split surface from dark elves. Their worship empowered her and drove her more insane. At some point, through the elven priestesses worshipping her, she became aware of Merakor and mated with the first king, Terest Nostram. Their child, Grazz'zt, ascended to the 443rd and heads a paladin order of dridershifters. Lolth entrusted management of the drow to Grazz'zt because, as her worshippers killed themselves off, she became aware that her power decreased.

Since Grazz'zt, Lolth only intervenes directly with her priestesses and leaves the rest to Grazz'zt. The drow thrive in the Underdark because of it. Still twisted, but thriving.

Lolth wishes to raise up the phase spiders, and other spiders while she's at it, to sentience. However, they are all locked in Set's Dream. She knows that if she can free just the powerful Phase Spiders, she would increase in power many times. All spiders? Even more power. Kill Set and take his place? Why not take the entire Abyss? She has plans and the drow serve her heart and soul to achieve it.

Even the drow cannot decide what she looks like and their religion is fractured into sects that:
- Believe she is an ascended drow who uses spiders as her symbol; looks like a drow female
- Believe she is a sentient spider who favors the drow; looks like a spider
- Believe she is a drider; upper half is drow
- Believe she is none of these things and the drow interpret and understand her through their own fascination with spiders
- Believe that their worship shapes her form and that the more "real" their faith in her is, the more "real" Lolth the goddess becomes (as opposed to the abyssal god Lolth who might not even be female)

Whether they are truly spider legs, spikes, armor, extra arms, tentacles, or something entirely different, all agree that Lolth has the ambush cunning of a spider, phase spiders worship her with their alien sentience, and...

Lolth has only ever appeared twice in the history of the drow:

  • To join Terest Nostram, paladin king of Merakor, to birth a son - Grazz'zt
  • To ascend Grazz'zt into her domain while annointed Kai'yx as the drow emperor

When she did this, she looked like a sensual female drow, appealing to both male and female, and with a voice of dark passion that haunted those who heard it. Since that time, the holy mothers - drow high priestesses - emulate the records of what it is said she appeared as.

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